Why do we sometimes feel like we need to rush God? Or to help him when things aren't moving at our pre-determined speed? Maybe the outcome isn't quite what we would have desired?
Trusting God can be hard, especially when the answer to our prayers is seeing the very person you are praying for move in the opposite direction! I had been praying for a loved one's heart to become softer, more open to hope, and to turn from their sin. But instead their heart just seemed to become harder, oppose God even more vehemently, and move deeper into behaviors that pulled them away from the Gospel.
While running, I cried out to God on their behalf, I begged for mercy, redemption, and faith to prevail in their life. That's when he clearly spoke to my heart.
"Beloved, would you interrupt an earthly father disciplining their child? Then why are you praying for me to truncate the very process that will lead them to repentance?"
Convicted of pride in telling God what do, I repented. I had wanted God to lift the pain of suffering in their life, but that was the very tool he was using to break them, have them turn to him in repentance, and to save them. After all he is sovereign and he is big enough to even use our sin for our good and his glory.
"Not my will, but yours, be done." Luke 22:42